Stages
by Tally-Ally
Summary: The stages Arthur goes through upon realizing exactly who his best friend is.


Merlin isn't mine ='(

Denial –

At first, it was easy to deny was right in front of his eyes. He'd accept any excuse Merlin threw his way, take him along on any adventure he wanted to tag along on, heed his eerie warnings… It was the easier path, and sometimes he felt like a coward for taking it. But the alternative – to accept his servant, his friend, was a sorcerer, was just too grim. To allow the possibility to fill his mind would make it real.

And then things would change.

And Arthur liked things the way they were.

Betrayal & Anger–

But eventually, denial became impossible. He couldn't fake being the dimwitted idiot Merlin seemed to take him for. He was the crowned Prince, after all. It was his job to know his people.

Anger had settled in. Arthur was angry, and he hated it. He also hated his friend for keeping something like this from him. What had Merlin expected, anyway? For Arthur to drag him off to the stocks? To simply ignore all the good that Merlin had done? Did he really think so lowly of him?

He had felt betrayed. He had shared so much with Merlin, and to receive lies in return… It had hurt.

Avoidance -

And so he started to avoid Merlin.

At first, it was difficult. Merlin wanted to know what was wrong, why the chores seemed to disappear, why Arthur was always up and out of his room by the time Merlin came around in the mornings…

But eventually, Merlin gave up. They'd still see each other, and Arthur's armor and clothes were always shining and hemmed, but the ease of friendship had left the pair.

Acceptance –

It took Merlin almost dying for Arthur to finally confront his demons. Merlin had gone off on his own to fight off a magical creature trying to attack Camelot, and gotten hurt in the processes.

_Gwen barged into Arthur's chambers, catching him off guard. He was just catching up on some reading, trying to occupy his time until the morning._

"_Arthur, I don't know what had gotten into you and Merlin lately, but you don't have to send him off on a suicide mission!" _

_This fully caught Arthur's attention. "What are you talking about, Gwen? I didn't send him anywhere!"_

_The anger seemed to leave Gwen's face. "He's hurt. They found him outside in the woods."_

_Arthur was up and out of his room before he could processes exactly what he was doing. His feet took him on a known path to Gaius', concern of his friend guiding him._

_When he walked into the shop, he could see Gaius working on some potion. He stopped, trying to figure out exactly what to do now. It had been months since he last talked, joked, with Merlin, and by association, it had been the same amount of time since he had interacted with Gaius on anything but formal matters. _

_He heard the door close behind him, Gwen coming up behind him._

"_Gwen, can we have some privacy?" He asked, knowing full well that he wasn't going to accept any excuses the old man might throw at him._

_She nodded, and he heard the door once more._

"_What happened, Gaius?" _

"_Sire, he went out to gather some herbs…" the old man started, but Arthur immediately interrupted._

"_Gaius, I don't want some lie. Both of you have done that enough. What happened?"_

_Gaius paused, taken back by the harshness in Arthur's voice. "I'm not sure, Sire. He has been trying to find a way to slay the creature, I can only assume that he went out and tried something."_

Morning found him still sitting by his servant's, _No, his friend's,_ he corrected himself, bed, drifting off as he waited for Merlin to wake up. Gaius had told Arthur that Merlin should make a recovery, suffering mostly from the loss of blood. They had stayed silent after that, and Arthur thanked the spirits for the small gift. He didn't think he could explain his actions, actions that inadvertently placed Merlin at greater risk.

"If I knew that getting hurt would get you in the same room as me, I'd have tried it days ago," he snapped awake at Merlin's voice, the humor of it seeming dry, filled more with tiredness and pain.

"Merlin, what were you thinking?" Arthur could barely control the anger in his voice.

"Sire…"

"Don't even think about lying to me, Merlin," Arthur interrupted. "I'm not as daft as you seem to think. You can't just lie to me and expect me to never catch on."

Merlin fell silent.

It took a few minutes for Gaius to come up, having heard the voices. Upon the physician's arrival, Arthur murmured something Merlin not having to worry about anything until he makes a full recovery, and almost running out of the room.

Arthur told him it was for the best, the cat was out of the bag.

It took three days for Merlin to finally corner Arthur. The prince had been on the inner walls of the castle, having decided to enjoy the air since sleep was obviously going to avoid him tonight.

"I'm fully recovered, and able to start my work again, sire," Merlin said, unsure of how to start the conversation the two should be having right now.

Arthur hadn't visited anymore, and Merlin couldn't blame.

"I'm not sure that's a wise idea. I have to be able to trust my servants, and I don't think I can trust someone who's lied to me as much as you have, Merlin."

Merlin tried to meet Arthur's gaze, but the prince seemed adamant in simply looking ahead, at the sleepy Camelot.

Merlin stayed silent for a while, trying to pick the right words.

"Arthur, what else could have I done?" he asked quietly.

"You could've told me the truth, Merlin!" Arthur shouted, regaining his composure a second later. "You stopped being just a servant a long time ago."

"And then what? You're obligated to burn those practicing magic, Arthur. Did you really expect me to force you into that kind of a situation?"

Arthur stayed silent. He had, of course, thought of all the thousands of reasons Merlin had for keeping this from him. And he knew that most of them were valid, and perhaps, in Merlin's position, he would've done the same.

But he felt betrayed, and angry, and reason seemed to avoid him at the current moment.

"Well then, shouldn't you be running away from Camelot right now? Fleeing the wrath of the prince, who's apparently a pompous prat willing to execute his friends?" asked Arthur, sarcasm dripping on every word.

"Maybe I should be. After all, he has been acting like a real prat lately. How am I to know what's going on in his head lately? He's been making it fairly clear that my mere presence insults him," Merlin snapped right back, taking Arthur by surprise.

The prince almost smiled at that. Merlin would never let him get away with anything, prince or not.

"What were you thinking, Merlin? Magic or not, you shouldn't have tried to kill the thing on your own."

"You wouldn't have been able to kill it on your own, Arthur. You would've been lucky to get away with your lives after an encounter with it."

Arthur smiled. Even when he was a prat, Merlin still tried to look out for him.

Noticing the smile, Merlin continued, "Not to mention, I did kill it."

Arthur could no longer keep a straight face, and laughter filled the air. Merlin must've been having a ball, finally able to openly share all that he has done.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said finally, the laughing mood having passed.

"Me too," Merlin echoed, and Arthur finally felt as if the weight of the world had lifted off his shoulders.


End file.
